Yea! am I right? 3 years. Woo-hoo. I am so vegan, I stopped calling my wife "honey" in and started calling her "agave". Seriously though I should be flying high on all this vegan shit, I should have kale flying out of my ass at this point right? Yeah, right.
But lets not jump right into that mess, lets remember how we got here, if you know anything about me, you know that I "would never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say". I live by that philosophy, ask anyone (seriously, go ask). So this started three years back with a binge of PB&J's and Spaghetti dinners since I had no clue how to eat vegan. Now, as much as I like both of those things, I really don't eat them very much. I have matured.
I got on Twitter and Blogger over the next few months, and before I got going I was all but assured that the craving for meat would go away in a few months and by 6 months I would be put off even being around animal products. I was a bit skeptical, but I had originally given this whole movement about 6 months anyways, so lets see. Keep in mind, I hadn't had a cigarette in years too, and I've wanted one every day. Still do. I wrote a sexy blog about them back in 2010. So since I never lost the craving for a good smoke, I doubted I would lose the craving for meat. In fact, while I was digging through my blog I ran across this gem I would have to say that there is still a lot of truth in that. A lot of favorite items in that. And many vegans loath bacon. Yes my friends, I know, "Bacon had a Mom". But some days, I want to eat that bitch on toast.
So if you look at my blog over the years, I mention this struggle many times. So what I am saying should really come as no real surprise to anyone. This is going to be a battle for a long time, if not forever. This is where I try not to think too hard. This past week I was in Tupelo, MS. I seriously considered going out for a southern breakfast by myself. No one would know me, no one would question me. Like I was indulging in some fantasy far away from home, with no chance of getting caught. I wanted to cheat, but I knew what would happen. The same thing that would happen if I went outside right now and smoked a cig. It would not be enough. I would want one in the morning. And, I would find a way to justify it. So I would have another, and another. I would be smoking half a pack in a weeks time. I fear the same with food. So oddly enough, fear keeps me vegan.
That just fired off another blog thread that I have wanted to start for sometime. I've become much more obsessed with eating. More than I should be. I'll write about that another time. I should not be a vegan because I am afraid of reverting to becoming non vegan. But that is one of the main reasons I still am. And this is how I spend my third year of becoming a vegan.
So I'll leave this for now as I explore why after three years, despite how much more more I understand vegan-ism, and how I understand the cruelty of the animal industry, and that I have not eaten any of these products (to my knowledge) in three years, I still crave fried chicken and yes bacon. My wife cant stand to be around the stuff. That's where I thought I would be. I think about it every day, then I think about having a smoke after. Its a good thing I don't have a drinking problem.
Friday, April 19, 2013
This is not a diary, I'll try not to treat it as such. If you really want to hear about whats going on between my ears, then send me an email, I'll send you a thesis. In the meantime, we'll be talking more about food. I've made attempt after attempt to try and get back to writing here, so I am making another attempt. I've got a blog in the works. You'll see. It wont post tonight, the battery on my laptop is unforgiving. It is my 3 yr vegan anniversary, and although I have survived the years, and have adapted to the lifestyle quite well, I still have demons that haunt me. Yes haunt. That's what I want to talk about. So maybe I will keep it a little dark, I am a little dark after all. I'll just keep it in context. Stay tuned for some Crabby ass vegan.